I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
