I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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