how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
