Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
