apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
