Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
