I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
