Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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