i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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