my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
