I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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