East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
