I'm gonna have a badass scar
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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