I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
