You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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