What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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