Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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