No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Even my vagina gasped.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
