My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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