Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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