Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
