This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
