just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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