I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
