he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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