Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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