yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
