Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm really busy with my period
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