whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
