help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
