Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
