the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
