last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize