I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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