lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.