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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.

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• (212): View more from New York

  Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?

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