i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.