Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

Fav 1 2306 751
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.

Fav 26 6581 756
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now

Fav 41 6841 1570
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

Fav 13 7123 1948
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(636): View more from Missouri

I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

Fav 6 2537 1081
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover

Fav 2 1011 1436
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.

Fav 12 991 2838
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.

Fav 0 652 753
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(506): View more from New Brunswick

I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better

Fav 0 355 120
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT