Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Are my feet made of real feet?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
and you fell through a lawn chair