You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We got so high we made milksteak
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent