idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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