I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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