Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
