She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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