I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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