I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
