That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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