I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
