How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
