Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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