Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
