I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
