I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
