tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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