not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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