I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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