is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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