when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
