i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
