hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he was CRYING into my vagina
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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