She announced her abortion via fbk
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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