your room smells of hookers.
And success
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
