my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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