It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
