just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
